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Things are getting better

We were supposed to go to dinner tonight. To Big of my favorite restaurants, but as usual, everytime I want him to take me to dinner he manages to fuck it up somehow--sometimes, it's because he gets fucking toasted beforehand and acts like a retarded 12-year old--other times he justs sulks around in a bad mood, doesn't talk, complains about everything--whatever.

Today, he just fought with me--he wouldn't let anything go. He was at me for shit that I didn't even do or say. Finally, I just said, let's not do this tonight, take me home. But, he's a stubborn ass and decided that we were going anyway. I begged, damn near and finally, at Jefferson and 44, he said, "Make up your mind, this is your last chance." I told him I'd already decided, so he got off and turned around. Once back in Soulard, he said, "Where do you want to go." I told him to take me home, I was going back to work. So, here I am, again.

I hate feeling disappointed. More than anything else. And that's what I'm feeling right now. I'd looked forward to this all day, though I guess in the back of my mind, I knew something would happen.

I miss going out to dinner. I miss waiting at the bar for a table and just hanging back and relaxing, not really worried about the fact that it's an hour before you'll get seated. I explained this to him before I left and told him that it was so simple and it brings me much joy. He didn't say anything and then I left.

You know, this always happens!

UPS is awesome

It's extremely easy to get in touch with a jasminlive customer service and take care of whatever you need to take care of...I just love friendly people.

One of the "clique" just resigned today. Good riddance, I say. One of them is going on maternity leave this month, so that will leave only 3 of them left. Hehehehehehehe. This isn't the one that had the shower but another one of them--this one NEVER has the time of day for ANYONE--and she has ZERO sense of humor.

I'm trying to decide what to eat for lunch today--I dont' feel like going anywhere--I hope they have a gas-station burrito in vend-a-heaven or something.

Well, that's what I told her

Last night, after my grueling 7 hours at KSDK (details forthcoming--it was a riot, really), I stopped in the Meow for a couple of "wind down" beverages.

I sat down at the bar with the Daddy Big Daddy, Stanko, Roy and Sam. My back was killing me. Sam rubbed my shoulders for awhile and after he left, Roy took over. It wasn't sexual, it wasn't even sexy. Some stupid bitch with a helmet haircut and a little midget body came over to the bar and said, "I have to ask." I looked at her. "What are you doing?" I continued to look at her and said, "I don't understand the question." She replied, "What are you doing with that old guy." I looked at her, weighing my responses and said, "I think I'm getting my back rubbed." And I stared at her until she went away. I mean, difference does it make if I'm hanging out with guys I know and they happen to be significantly older? Not that it matters one way or the other what was going on--what business of hers is it anyway? So, after that, I scooted over to Stanko, who looks even OLDER and damn if he didn't manage to find the knots and get them all out.

The Hammer of God wanted to smote her, but I was keeping my alter-egos in check last night.

Last night was hilarious. I was on TV, even. Although, if I'd known that, I'd've dressed differently. We watched Mike Bush tape his little show for Sunday. He's a dork. Seriously. In 2000, one Sunday night, Mike Bush announced, "Don't be surprised if the SUN rises in the EAST tomorrow. Yes, the Rams are going to the Superbowl." Yeah, okay. I'll check my excitement, there, Mike.

We took a lot of calls. At the end of the night, though, the crackpots started calling. I had one woman want to know what the symptoms of cancer are. I tried to tell her that it depended on the cancer, the part of the body, etc. but if she suspects that there's something wrong, then she needed to go see a doctor as soon as possible. She kept saying over and over, "I don't know if I have cancer, I just want to know what the symptoms are." I kept repeating, "You should discuss this with your physician, ma'am."

Then, the final call of the night was from whack-job who wanted to know what cancer looked like, what color was it. If a tumor was luminous or white as opposed to dark, did that mean it was benign. What shape was malignant cancer. Again I repeated that it depended on the cancer and the tissue being attacked. No, just because it's round doesn't mean it's benign. And, no, just because it's long doesn't mean it's malignant. No, it doesn't have to look like a fungus. Ma'am, if you think you have something wrong, you should see your doctor immediately. No, ma'am, I don't think a doctor can tell just by looking. He can suspect something is cancerous, but usually he backs it up with lab tests or X rays or CT scans or SOMETHING.

She said, "I'm about to be a part of the ministry and you never know what people might want me to see or touch. For my own peace of mind, I want to know what cancer looks like so I can tell people whether or not something is wrong." I told her that in that situation, she should probably advise a person to SEE HIS OR HER PHYSICIAN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Do not try to diagnose this yourself, ma'am. She got very irritated with me and told me that as Jesus can heal, Jesus can take us down.

Call Ernest Angley, I said.

Let's count!

I found out today at work that I am so absolutely fucked that I may not see daylight for 2 weeks. I mean, I am captital F fucked. I need to be more organized and then when last minute things come up, I won't be so fucked. If I had more discipline I could work on this stuff at home, but I'm not.

Had lunch with Leesa, Ko, Ryan and Joe (all links can be found to the left; I'm too lazy to set it up for you). It was almost as much fun as a barrel of monkeys. Maybe even more fun that that. I'm not sure since I've never gotten anyone to quantify for me how much fun a barrel of monkeys is. Addionally, it has never been explained to me why a barrel of monkeys is fun in the first place.

Here's a list of chaturbate stuff. That may or may not be related.

1) Today, I will be working the Channel 5 info line regarding the story on clinical trials. If you call that number, you might get my cheery voice.

2) I will not be going to class today

3) I finished my bi-weekly paper for class a few minutes ago

4) My screw-ball history professor can be cool when he wants and I can take all 3 quizzes tomorrow or Monday.

5) Red Meat is my favorite comic strip

6) Currently, the following are in my Jetta's CD player: Steve Forbert "The American in Me", Nelly, Nanci Griffith's "One Fair Summer Evening," the latest John Gorka and John Hiatt's Greatest Hits.

7) My Jetta's name is Dieter but I will be trading him in next August.

8) I'm thinking about chucking the automobile thing altogether and going public.

9) My father thinks this is a good idea, my mother doesn't.

10) The St. Louis skyline looks the best when traveling in the back seat of a taxi cab.

11) I like to take taxis, they make me feel cosmopolitan

12) I don't like martinis

13) I think martini bars are a crock.

14) I feel the same way about Bloody Mary bars

15) Therefore, it is unlikely that you will find me in The Famous Bar

16) Unless Hotel Faux Pas is playing there.

17) And they used to.

18) I would also go see Brian McClelland

19) He's my favorite HFP, even though Larry O'Neal has almost the same last name as me and he recognized me once.

20) I have 2 cats

21) I have 1 Pissed-Off Bastard

22) We met at the Liquor Store, which isn't a bar though it sounds like one and mimics one too.

23) If my friend Jay ever opens a bar, he said he'd name it The Liquor Store Widow.

24) I think The Liquor Store Widows is a good name for a band.

25) There are now FIVE pregnant women in my jasminelive office.

26) They aren't me.

27) Thank God

28) Even though I look like I am

29) I make bad puns as often as I can and no one gets 'em.

30) It has just been pointed out to me that I'm not very observant.

31) I have a pager even though I don't want one.

32) I'm outta here.

Full circle. You know.

Is it just me, or does anyone else start crying at the end of The Wedding Singer, when Robbie sings, "I'll even let you hold the remote control?" I bust into tears each and every time--even if I'm watching it for the second time in less than 24 hours.

Speaking of remote controls, I watched Will and Grace in syndication the other night (the same episode twice). It was the one with Glenn Close playing the photographer "Fanny Lieber." "Fanny Lieber" tells W and G to "get a life." Grace says that she has a life, she has TiVo. And Will pipes in and says, "And I'm this close to learning how to use it." Which cracked me up, because that's right out of MY life, except that the POB isn't gay. Nor is he as hunky as Will.

Along those same lines, I was watching some show called...something or other, I've only seen it twice. The husband comes out of the bathroom and says, "Do I have a pimple on my back?" The wife says, "You have something growing there." He says, "Can you pop it? I can't reach." She says, "It isn't ready." I choked on my chicken. THAT is an ACTUAL conversation that happens almost EVERY morning at CasaChristy. Seriously. I think those spying satellites are finding my life as sit-com worthy as I do.

Oh, and I'm the person who made up the fruitcake joke--you know, the one about how there's really only one fruitcake in the world, it just gets passed around a lot. Seriously, 2 days after I tell that joke for the first time, I heard Jay Leno do it on his show.

It was in telling that story to Pantomime Dad, the Plasma Physicist that I first learned about morphic resonance. That was before he decided he wanted me to have his , though. I couldn't, because I'm holding out for Adam Sandler.